Kianya

I have always heard the sayings, “toughen up” or “don’t cry, you will be fine.” But is it really that easy?

Growing up, I heard those lines countless times, and I wondered if it was fair to say. I wondered if people were actually giving good advice, or just being inconsiderate of each other’s feelings. Or maybe that they didn’t want to deal with other’s sensitivities at all.

I wanted someone to hear me out, be that shoulder to lean on when things were falling apart. I wanted someone to listen to my cries, frustrations, and feelings when I felt like no one was there for me.

Instead of sharing, I kept a lot of things to myself and did not want to express my emotions to anyone. I felt like no one was present with me during my tough times. I got tired of hearing: “you are too sensitive,” or “stop – you will be fine.” It did not stop there. It was on-going! No one was there to listen to my feelings or they felt like my sensitivity was overwhelming. 

It was not until I was 24, that I reached out to a therapist.

Of course, I had insecurities and was uncomfortable when meeting her. I was nervous and feared that she would be judgmental.  However I saw overtime, that she was calm and she listened. I became comfortable in sharing my thoughts. 

Therapy has rebuilt me.

Therapy helped me to “be me.” I am able to verbalize my thoughts without judgment. It has elevated my life and given me a different perspective on how to cope and deal with issues that may arise.

Stick to it, do not give up, and you will find your new normal.

Always love yourself in all ways.

– Kianya –